i need an iv and a liver transplant
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
