somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
