Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
whose parrot is this?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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