We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
