..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
