I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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