everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
