His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
