wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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