I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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