I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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