Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
