it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
