I'm so fucking centered right now
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
