he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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