I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
