i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
