dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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