I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
