ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
