She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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