WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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