i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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