Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
