i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
