Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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