The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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