i just sent this text using only my big toe
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
