Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
