someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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