Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
