Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
