guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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