Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
