please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize