Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
