whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Panties = found
Randomize
