I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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