Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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