There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize