he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I had to cum in my sink.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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