You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
