you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
