Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
