i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
