I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
