i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
