He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Randomize
