Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
