Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
