Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
