I think im going to throw up on grandma
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
